My Journey Through The Mother Land

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Mad Gab Madness

If you've ever played the game "Mad Gab" you'll know how fun and slightly perplexing it can be.

The game takes a phrase like, "my kojak sun" and players have to guess the common name or phrase. For the example above the answer is: Michael Jackson.

I am convinced this game was made by a mother of a talking toddler. Today I found myself waiting for the game buzzer as I repeatedly asked my son to repeat what he was saying so that I could decode his message.

It sounded like he was saying:

"Arundel Basil Width Caddy"

You can imagine the blank stare on my face, until I figured out his completely random statement. The answer to our Mad Gab moment Trivia was:

"I Run The Bases With Daddy!"

Oh, he was reminding me that he had the opportunity to run the bases, after the game, on the Baysox field in Maryland when we were visiting my mother.

I know with all the practice I am getting, someday I will be a Mad Gab Champion!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Sanitary Insanity: The Evolution of Parental Precautions

It occurred to me the other day that I have become a little lax in my "sanitary insanity". Yes, as most first time parents I was found disinfecting my baby room, washing the linens and alphabetizing the over the counter medication a sick infant might need before the little tyke was born:) but lately I can't find that lady anywhere!?!

I am pretty sure I was extreme in my sanitation and preparation (as I am in most things), so I am a little appalled at myself when I catch myself blankly staring at my daughter as she nibbles on my sons SHOE!

Rewind two and a half years ago and you would have found a much different situation. I recall changing my sons diaper after it was mildly wet...and now? I am patting my poor daughters soggy diaper to gauge how much longer I can wait before she needs to be changed? Have I grossed you out yet? If I have I am guessing you are a parent of one...I'm hoping that those of you with more than one child are nodding your heads and smiling.

So what happens in between child one and child two? I have been perplexed by this.

Is it the realization that my son didn't die when he sucked on a shopping cart handle bar (I'm cringing as we speak) or was it that blaming some unknown child 8 pews back in church for coughing and sneezing during church meeting didn't mean my son recovered from his cold any faster? I really don't know.

What I do know is that I like the calm expression on my face when something happens that would have sent my arms flailing and my eyes bulging. Does one become more lax with the number of children they have? If I were to have 1,2, maybe even 3 more would I become a champion mom on a fear factor show?

Regardless, I am enjoying that I am a little more laid back about the germs. Its increased my life span about two years, which I could quite possibly lose again once my children are teenagers.

Until then, I'd love to hear from you. How have your parental precautions evolved? Examples are great....like: I used to_____ but now I ______.

Let out your hair & let the confessions roll ladies!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Aunt Anticipation

Last night we received news that I am an aunt again! I began acting like a little girl the night before Christmas! I wanted so badly to meet the new bundle of joy and try and catch some of the sensation of the moment.

Since I wasn’t yet invited I began trying to occupy my time with other things….so I started planning my funeral. Yes, I know it may sound weird, but for those that know me….I plan. I am a planner. It’s what I do. I LOVE to plan and why wouldn’t I plan my funeral? I figure it’ll save my loved ones the agony of having to figure out what on earth I want. It’s been said that weddings & funerals bring out the worst in families. I figure I am saving them from additional heart ache so that they can focus on, well, me and the blessed event. :)At any rate, in my quest to figure out where I should begin we received a call from the newbie parents who needed a few snacks, I anxiously volunteered to be the deliverer. As I got to the hospital bearing gifts of food my heart was pounding in my chest and I was filled with joy. Just being in the same room as the birthing party made me giddy.

I remember dancing a little jig as I washed my hands because I could not contain myself. As I sat trying to figure out why I was jumping out of my skin, I realized that I was genuinely excited for mom and dad and couldn’t believe baby #2 was here, but mostly because mother got to experience that high, that feeling that can’t be described in any way shape or form. Those moments where you connect heaven and earth, it’s positively amazing and I wanted a piece of it.I savoured every detail trying my best to live vicariously through the moment. I instantly wanted to have another baby! Mind you, my youngest is not yet four months old, but I miss that feeling. It’s like an addiction. I wanted that new birth-high so badly.

What makes matters worse is that I have been praying to know if we are supposed to have any more kiddos and I have not received an answer…as the obsessive compulsive planner that I am, it’s driving me crazy. Everyone says it’s too early to know because I still have a newborn, but I knew she was coming by the time my son was 6 weeks old!

Birth-Day Suprise?!

I can’t complain about my pregnancy’s. Or at least I shouldn’t. I love the feeling of a baby moving inside of me. However, for some reason once I hit my third trimester my time starts ticking and my foot begins tapping. The day I hit thirty-seven weeks an internal buzzer goes off inside of me and mentally I’m officially done. This is mainly because I’ve always been quite far along into early labor. So I sit and twiddle my thumbs to meet the bundle of joy while the books tell me babies are done cooking at that point and just gaining weight! Wonderful! Can’t my baby come out and gain some weight?

So I do what any pregnant mother who’s hip’s start to tingle while trying to sleep ONLY on her sides—causing a need to rotate quite frequently in the night…I attempt to go into labor. Spicy food, pineapple, long walks, a little hopscotch dance with the hubby (the blessed reason we were pregnant in the first place), jumping rope, playing volleyball, and tug of war! Yes, I’ve tried just about everything! Seriously at that point in big mama-ness I would hop backwards, with one eye closed, and my left hand waving , down a busy street, in the setting sun if it meant the baby would come out!

Yet, all that gyrating leads to a healthy heart rate, but no baby. I knew our second child would be a girl a year before she was even conceived. She had a persistent little personality which scared me to death! I tend to be a little feisty myself and just can’t imagine having another diva in the house. Plus, I have a very active adorable boy whom I love to dress. I was never a fashionista and cringe at the thought that my daughter could be born starting out on the worst dressed list because of moi! Despite my concerns I was excited to meet her.

Induction or Bust…literally! Labor was great. My husband teases me that I was napping through a portion of it. I have to give a shot out to my anesthesiologist! Thank you funny man, in scrubs, with drugs! You rock! Two contractions/pushes later a child was born. I had such an amazing experience when my son was born. That feeling was incredible. But I have to be honest the first thought I had when my daughter was born was, “who’s baby is that?” She surely did not look like my son. She had lighter hair and white skin! I took one look at my husband and asked him if he needed to tell me something. He looked at me as if mentally saying, ‘I’m the Caucasian here” and said, “Darling, do you need to tell me something? “. if I had blinked for more than a nano second I would have been convinced that the nurses had a few tricks up their sleeves and were doing a one, two, switcharoo on me. To add to the festive occasion, when they placed my darling newborn in my arms I couldn’t help but stare at her ear! She had a wrestlers’ ear! It was big and puffy…I immediately tried to picture hairstyles that would hide the poor thing. Needless to say, this second experience was not like my first—the instant bond was replaced with shock; for a child I was sure now needed to cook inside me a little longer.

I guess I just subconsciously expected her to look like my son. Although my labor was so much shorter my poor daughter was so swollen. She looked like a forty year old man with a mortgage and a commuter-job! I was worried. I knew I would love her unconditionally forever, but let’s be honest girls don’t catch a break if they aren’t at least cute in this world. My darling mother saw passed the swollen birth mode and was so positive, which without her knowledge made me feel horrible because I didn’t feel the same way.

Another second child-shocker was her lack of verbal communication. I secretly kept waiting for her to start talking. Or at least I hoped she would. Even though it had only been two years since the birth of my oldest, I had grown accustom to his independence. And now I was starting all over again. I had to reach into my mommy brain and refresh myself with what a person does to interact with a newborn.

Although I didn’t think she was cute immediately after birth, it did not mean that I wasn’t head over heels in love with her. She was an angel from the start. I never thought it was possible to love more than one child as much as I loved my first. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Weeks after my daughters birth we tried figuring out who she looked like. We stumbled upon a photo of the husband as a baby as well as myself. The result? She looks like both of us. Believe it or not, I was a light-skinned-blue eyed baby for most of the first year of my life. And when my daughter smiles, it’s hard to debate that those dimples are a reflection of yours truly. However, when you are just looking at her before her face lights up, you can clearly see her father. So, aside from my big ears that she inherited from yours truly, I’d say our little peach made out with the best of both worlds.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

One Year Later

As the eve of my sons first birthday arrived I found myself reflecting on what was happening a year ago. Preparing for his arrival, my feelings, being admitted to the hospital, etc. I even brought my husband into the reflection by checking the time and talking about what he was doing and feeling. I woke in the middle of the night (around 2) and crept into my sons room. I scooped him up into my arms and held him. I couldn't see him very well, but I sort of rocked him and reminisced about holding him at the same time one year ago. He was born at 1:43 so I wasn't too far off. I felt so much love and joy and truly realized how big he has grown. I kissed his head and whispered, "Happy Birthday...I love you so much."After a few minutes I gently laid him back in bed and went back to try and sleep.

It is SO easy to talk about the pains and the not so appealing things I endured while pregnant or giving birth etc. but it is also SO easy to forget. Overall, this has been an amazing journey. A wonderful first year, and a memorable occupation. I am SO blessed to be a mother and to have this little one.

Addiction

My name is Janne' and I have an addiction. Since admitting it is the first step I am sharing the news with you. The only problem is that I am not sure I want to kick my habit. That just may be due to the fact that I am addicted to my family. I simply cannot get enough of them. When I am away from my son and/or husband I am thinking about when I will get to see them again.

In what little spare time I can find for myself I am reading, planning, and plotting on how I am going to spend quality time with them. If time passes where my life and my husbands life is so busy that we haven't had time to spend together, WATCH OUT....cause I am going through withdrawls. I will find things to be mad about and quite frankly I am not the most pleasant person to be around. All because I want to be with my husband and my son.I also have to admit that I find myself to have recluse tendencies. Yes, after my son was born I even had my groceries delivered. It is amazing what you can do online these days to free more time and spend it on other things. For me it is all about my family.

I am trying to branch out. I like to hang out with friends. I do have hobbies. I don't think I have lost all hope. I probably sound pathetic, but man it sure feels good. If you are aware of a support group for such an addiction, by all means let me know. Please specify what time and dates they meet because if the meetings last too long I may have to reconsider. :)

Our Song

To Make You Feel My Love

One early morning after my son was born (we were still in the hopsital) I was in the nursery feeding him. The nurses had a radio station playing. As I sat there feeding my newborn son a song came on and I began listening to the words. I began crying because at that moment the words expressed so sweetly what I felt. That moment left an imprint on my heart. This song has since become very dear to me. I hope to be able to dance with my son to it at his wedding some day.

To Make You Feel My Love
By: Garth Brooks

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
There's no doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms of rage are rolling wild and free
Down that highway of regret
The wind of change is blowing wild and free
But you aint seen nothing like me yet

There aint nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the end of the earth for you
Make you happy make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love

I love you son!Love, Mom

The Only "Now" I Know

I knew I always wanted to be a mother and a wife. Playing house as a child was one of my favorite things to do. I always imagined I would have a career while I had children--and so I planned out my life.

The end of March brought about a change.During my pregnancy, I was anxious yet nervous at all of the possibilities motherhood could bring. I felt blessed to be able to co-create a child with my wonderful husband. I enjoyed watching his stages of realization that he would be a father.

Labor was great--taking birthing classes and watching videos of birth was more painful for me than actual labor.In the instant that a child is born, the feeling cannot be explained. Emotionally I was at peace, overjoyed, and blessed. This beautiful child was entrusted to me. My son born in @ 1:43am 7lbs 15 oz 21inches long.

He was everything I always wanted. I wanted to hold him forever. I never knew I could love my husband more, until I saw him love our son.Over the next few days and weeks I had a stronger desire than before to create a disneyland-like atmosphere for my family. I began to realize (as most already do) that this is my families time. The only "now" they will ever have.I felt a great deal of responsibility and excitement for what that could entail. I wanted "their happiest place on earth" to be filled with love and laughter, meditation, full tummies, learning, growth, safety, understanding, and acceptance.

Call me old fashioned, but this is my career. In my opinion this isn't a nine-to-five job. Twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, three hundred and sixty five days a year. No Sick days & No paid time off. The world cannot place a dollar amount on the worth of a mother/wife. Paid in hugs, laughter, and kisses, it doesn't get any better than this!

Tell me truly, what is more imporant?

It has been said that at the end of one's life upon reflection a person will not wish that they made more money or had a bigger house or better car, but that they spent more time with the ones that they love.

That time is now. This is the only "now" I know.My career comes with many benefits. Benefits that will outlast my lifetime. And I couldn't be happier.