One Year Later

As the eve of my sons first birthday arrived I found myself reflecting on what was happening a year ago. Preparing for his arrival, my feelings, being admitted to the hospital, etc. I even brought my husband into the reflection by checking the time and talking about what he was doing and feeling. I woke in the middle of the night (around 2) and crept into my sons room. I scooped him up into my arms and held him. I couldn't see him very well, but I sort of rocked him and reminisced about holding him at the same time one year ago. He was born at 1:43 so I wasn't too far off. I felt so much love and joy and truly realized how big he has grown. I kissed his head and whispered, "Happy Birthday...I love you so much."After a few minutes I gently laid him back in bed and went back to try and sleep.

It is SO easy to talk about the pains and the not so appealing things I endured while pregnant or giving birth etc. but it is also SO easy to forget. Overall, this has been an amazing journey. A wonderful first year, and a memorable occupation. I am SO blessed to be a mother and to have this little one.

Addiction

My name is Janne' and I have an addiction. Since admitting it is the first step I am sharing the news with you. The only problem is that I am not sure I want to kick my habit. That just may be due to the fact that I am addicted to my family. I simply cannot get enough of them. When I am away from my son and/or husband I am thinking about when I will get to see them again.

In what little spare time I can find for myself I am reading, planning, and plotting on how I am going to spend quality time with them. If time passes where my life and my husbands life is so busy that we haven't had time to spend together, WATCH OUT....cause I am going through withdrawls. I will find things to be mad about and quite frankly I am not the most pleasant person to be around. All because I want to be with my husband and my son.I also have to admit that I find myself to have recluse tendencies. Yes, after my son was born I even had my groceries delivered. It is amazing what you can do online these days to free more time and spend it on other things. For me it is all about my family.

I am trying to branch out. I like to hang out with friends. I do have hobbies. I don't think I have lost all hope. I probably sound pathetic, but man it sure feels good. If you are aware of a support group for such an addiction, by all means let me know. Please specify what time and dates they meet because if the meetings last too long I may have to reconsider. :)